It just can't get any worst...

Recently Iain has been all paranoid and anger at me... I don't know what happen..
I thought I was looking forward to speak with him again when I bought him a headphone... Yesterday he got mad at me for lying which it doesn't happen in the first place.. Now today he just delete me off his Skype and Facebook... Really....?
In the beginning I thought we were friends... Even though it's hard already for me for us to be just friends... Now he choose to delete me away... He wants to forget me..........

Not so good lately...

I find the more I'm around people the more lonely I felt... I cried in the train home.. I felt so sad and lonely about everything.. I just wish things would be better again... I can't bring myself up just feel like a walking zombie.. Making myself forget everything temporary while I'm at work and everything hits me when I'm off work.. I miss you :(

Plenty of things...

I'm having a rough idea of redesigning my room. Change my bed and get a new colour for my wall..

I wish you were here and staying together with me in this room like how we used to be... I miss you...

A picture of you in Ichiban sushi, when you picked me up from work and we went to dhoby ghuat and bought yourself a fighting fish..

How I miss seeing you standing across me in the bus interchange when I alight the bus... Will ever be anyone who would ever replace you.....

It's still been so rough...

I realises everyday I'm forcing myself to act normal and not to think about it.. But everyday I just can't stop thinking about him thinking bout how his doing... I called yesterday and his mum said his busy.. I suppose he didn't wanna speak with me..It's almost close to a week now that he got mad at me and ask me to leave him alone.. I don't know will I ever speak to him again...
I'm still crying almost everyday missing him.. He just don't know how much he means to me and his not a person who is easily replaceable.
I just had a long weekend from work and it's been very unproductive... Just staying at home.. In the empty room... My auntie visited and she was told by my mum what happen.. She ask me out of my room but I was reluctant.. She told me I look soulless and I couldn't even speak up.. I always try not to talk about things having to do with our relationship cause it will upsets me all the time.. Even just looking at a white person in a train gives me a big heartache...

I'm glad he got what he want now...the life he wants and never have to go through any heartache or post relationship depression. I wish I was as cold and heartless like him... Sigh... I don't know how long it's gotta last but it's been very very lonely... I really can't move on without feeling upset or thinking about him...

Not sure if he will speak with me again or ever think about me... Don't think he be watching my blog anymore.. But
I truly miss him and I'm still longing for him...

I still love you a lot Iain... more than you ever know...

Loneliness

I always wake up trying to look up your blog if you have any update or you get your account back... But everyday is just nothingness waiting for you to come on Skype.
Everyday when I sit in the living room the cold night breeze wind just reminds me of you and how loneliness I am.. Where are you...? Have you found someone esle?

Don't think you will ever speak to me again

I don't know how was your account. Don't know what you will be doing.. Maybe your back to your old habits maybe your just depress.. I love to help you with your bankroll.. Since I'm working now.. I love to see how your forcus in something that you like and make a challenge to your everyday life... Now someone just ruin it.. But I wanna make you feel better... Sigh... Again you just ask me to leave you alone.. Doing what you do best... Ignore

I still love you and I ain't afraid to show it