Ive been feeling so cold from society lately...

Feel like a total outcast...

Things ain't well with Iain either... I thought he was still fond of me or things between us got better.. Guess i was wrong and just lying to myself that things were good again..

Saddens me all the time to hear him being mad and that he couldn't careless or care bout me..
It breaks my heart and feel how tired am I trying for this friendship/relationship but it will never seems to be better...

Everyday is just being stress and people nagging at me ....
It's never one day I was actually happy.. It's kinda getting harder and harder to handle... Just so cold....

I don't know why everyone is just mad at me lately for no fucking reason...

I don't know what's going on and I feel like shit......

Im fucking pissed with everything's going!! Fucking hate everyone!!!

Especially you Iain! Your constantly never ending angry spree on me! Im so fucking sick of everything and everyone cause no body gives a shit and family just pushing chores to me and blame me for every single thing..

Iain you know you mean the whole to me.. and the only person now I've could be with comfortably and talk things about... You just constantly turn your back on me.... Maybe you are better off without me... Maybe im just a burden a cancer cell or a black sheep..I don't care...
All I know is I still care a lot about you and I still wanna see you again in the future..every I'm still look forward to speak with you like its a daily routine....

I miss you a lot...

He still does know how much he means to me... I'm broken beyond words.

Whenever his mad he would shout at me and swear at me as if everything was my fault... I just want to start a conversation and chat but it seems like I'm in his way.......

I don't know how long till I'll ever speak to him again....... just so heartbroken.. From the moment I woke up today.. I wish you were here........ I miss you

Last year of these days... I was so much happier...

Happier to have you around.. Happy to go to work can looking forward to see you...

Now that even its the same job as before. I hated it.. I hated every moment I've to think about it..

Lying in my empty bed.. Missing you..

Thinking of how would it be like if we ever meet again..

Will you continue to hold my hand?
Will you ever feel the same way for me again :(

will you still continue to give me that chance?

guess I've to sleep with this question tonight :'(

Every night when I think about you and cry in my bed...

I wish you would hug me from the front and kiss me on my forehead saying everything is ok...

Cause I miss you so...

Really really not been easy lately...

Just feel very difficult... Did he really love me still...? Did he really miss me..?

So scare and lonely... Wish whatever he said was true... I want to see him again so much.... It's breaks my heart knowing his back on dating site looking for girls again.............

Today I realise I never been so afraid of the crowd.. I literally had episodes of mini panic attack.. Hands swearing trying to squeeze my arm constantly.....couldnt think straight nor just trying to catch my breath ....

Just thinking of you.......