It seems like you've probably find someone to occupy your time and you probably feel much better now... I'll be happy for you ...........

I never been so stress and tired in my life...
I get this chest pain from work, bending over and carrying 20kg of luggage all the time.. I couldn't speak out cause my chest is exhausted...

Where are you Iain when I need you the most.. I can't stand all these I wish the end of world was real...
I just want you to come back and speak with me.. Have you forgotten me? You walked away with my happiness and your my happiness...
It means so little but so much to me now cause being able to speak to you seems to be the happiness i could get now.....
I'm so tired from I never thought it be so psychical and mental especially when your not around.. It's eating me away....

To Iain from Claire

Oh why cant I be what you need
a new improved version of me
but i'm nothing so good
no i'm nothing
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
i beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins

I break in two over you
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you dont see me, you dont...

here i'm in between darkness and light
bleached and blinded by these nights
where im tossing and tortured til dawn
by you, visions of you then youre gone
the shock lifts the red from my face
when i hear someone's taking my place
how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel
when all, all that i did was for you

i break in two over you
i break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you dont..

i break in two over you
i break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you don't...

i break in two over you
i break in two over you, over you
i break in two
i would break in two for you
now you see me
now you don't
now you need me
now you don't

I'm sick of losing every single fucking person I talk too!! Now my colleagues are boycotting me always leaving without me.. Today they all left the counter without telling me its okay to go.. I saw them missing and I call them a couple of times no one dare to pick up my call only until I speak with one of their mentor and said they already left.. I had it!! Fucking bunch of wimp its been like this the past 3 days.. Racist bitches!

Was really in a horrible mood yesterday..

I'm just so mad.. So mad that my arms ate itching everyday and im bit to shred...
so mad to see myself walking alone while others are paired up.. So mad that they've to talk about their bf whenever we sat down for lunch.. So mad that I can't just get away be a cabin crew so I don't have to come home in the same old room everyday wishing you were here... So mad that everything in my life you seems to be a part of it...... So mad that I woke up at 2am every morning to look at my phone wishing you were online to chat with me.... I hate it...

Wish you could understand everything I do so say.... Why has it got to be so hard..

Why can't you be nice to me again....

Stop disappearing...... I miss you

What would Christmas like this year might be one full of feelings for you...

I've a strong feeling I'll have to work and won't be celebrating with anyone or be anywhere...
Christmas sure is one of my favourite festival.. I always wish I could have a nice Christmas... as I never had a really good one...

Last year I spent Christmas with you. Though its not snowing and I didn't got a gift from you.. I still love to have you with me cuddling on the couch watch tv and have your mum's lovely cooked spread..

I wish I could turn back time and redo everything I've done.. Cause I've changed now but it's too late... You will never want to see the changed me and I'll always be the worst person in your life........

This year Christmas.. I wish you be happier and get well.. And that I'll see you again soon..

As for my birthday in march... It will be the same...

You are an important person in my life now... And everything that I do your always seems to be part of it well... That's what I wish...

I know things will be so much nicer if we stay close to each other... But we don't have such luck.. We were challenged and I'm fighting it to see you as much as I can... As long as I'm working as long as I'm fighting... I'll do my best to see you and your smile again...

I miss you... Especially the you when we will just stay in bed and play poker with chips or cuddle me from the back and ask me where would I like to go today..................................................

It will never happen again isit................

I'm sad I've don't have you to speak with me anymore..... Can't share my problems with you and I'm all alone :( can't see your face again... Have you gave up on me,,,?

I can't believe after so long together you just choose to disappear from my life ... I love you you know? And you just left me with a heart that's full of you....

I miss you so much... Please come back....

I don't know what happen I don't know why you disappear...

I'm so worried.... Sick...

I can't concentrate on work anymore.. I'll be constantly checking my phone and Skype if you come online...

Please Iain speak with me again I'm so worried what happen to you....

I miss you so much :((

Please come back on Skype....