I wish to overcome...

Having all the break ups and terrible things that happen to me in the past took great influence of me. Sadly it led me to paranoid. Ever since my last relationship, I'm so afraid to fall in love again...I'm afraid my past repeats on me, to get hurt or having bad days due to argument and quarrels..

I'm not sure if I could be a good girlfriend anymore as I found myself being jealous and suspicious all the time.. always feeling insecure and lag of trust.. loads of negative things in my mind and I hated it.. It's way too unfair for my future partner to suffer all these shit from me due to my horrible experiences.. I feel really bad for them..

I wish one day I can overcome all these nonsense and hoping I'll always remind myself to give them a chance when my nonsense trigger..

Sigh...