I can't believe what's happening right now...

Why am I here...

It's the first time I stay with someone who  rather eat frozen vegetable than to have me cooking.. won't even eat out or in with me.. 

:O dumbfounded...

I've never felt so rejected in my life from this last two days 

I feel like a huge disappointment.

I tried my hardest.. But it was never good enough.

I'll never stop regretting... I'll never be happy...

I deserve to be alone...

I'm sorry...

I'm so tired of my life...

I'm so sick of this constant stress from people making me feel so negative about myself...

Whole year is like I'm running on a freaking guilt trip. 

Please stop all this...

I'm so sick of my life!!!

I always have people constantly putting me down!! Making me feel bad!! 

Stop!!

I just want to be happy and peaceful!!! 

I don't need people to remind me how fucking pathetic I am when I'm already feeling bad.

Don't say things you won't do! Don't leave me angry if you want to start an argument! Cause it just fucking makes me crazy and start doing stupid shit!! 

Nobody cares about how bad i feel anyway everyone is fucking selfish! Only there to make things worst when things are already bad!!!

Just fucking kill me already!! 

I'm just not good enough

I feel so low about myself.

I'm just not good enough for anyone ...

I look like shit, I'm unattractive and my life is pathetic.

I'm annoying and I cause so much harm to people.

I should be banish.

I shouldn't exists...

This one sided love...

I still wish that there is this little something in you that is still fighting for me...

cause right now I just feel so unimportant...

Everything is so different now..

When you look at him, he means the world to you.. but he fall asleep in front of you every time :(
Maybe he found me comforting or maybe his just not that interested in chatting with me anymore..

It's when time I set an alarm just to wake up to chat with him only to find him falling asleep on me. Which makes me feel like an idiot..

I find myself fighting and arguing inside me...
one side thinking ' he had a long day'
and another ' I wake up just for him and its so rude of him to fall asleep on me'

Everyday I just find myself fighting within me..fighting for him and myself...

I want to give him his chance...

But I feel so unappreciated...

I feel so lonely...

Headache

I don't know what to do anymore...

I feel my words are no longer powerful..

One point of time today I really miss him and I wrote him a text saying I miss him. It was totally ignore even when I ask about him. 

Being concern about him is making him fraustrated. I feel like my existent is his fraustration.. Sometimes his really nice but sometimes he just push me away and yell at me...

Should I learn to try to understand and accept to leave him alone...?

Cause right now I just feel like he doesn't want me in his life... It makes me feel like I'm nothing but annoying and when that happens he often shows no interest in what I say and do other things on his laptop.. He told me he needed me in his life but all I felt most is the opposite...

It's always hot and cold... 

It's making me very depress... His always pushing me away when I needed him the most... He said he won't hurt me anymore...

He said.... He said...