Dear Iain,

Days been tough without being in touch with you. You seems so distance I don't know if you found someone else since I've seen you on Asian dating...

I wish I would let you feel how sincere am I.. And I'm always has been truthful.. Never want to lie to you about anything.. It so difficult to live by knowing someone you love has a wrong impression and judgement of you...

How it be nice if we can be in good terms again as being a part from you just makes me think of you more each day that its eating inside me.. I'm so mad I can't get over you... You are part of my life and everything is so quiet now...

Please Iain... I really want you to know I still love you... Why can't you see I've changed and I wish you could see the new me :(

I miss you so much....

Not feeling so well again recently..

I've been feelin rejections again.. Neither is Iain want to speak with me as usual...

I feel stuck... It's been a lousy year so far ... I really wish I can get the cruise job I don't know what to do... I've great feelings that people with better experience will get the job over me

I'm so mad to be alone... Cause I can't stop wishing you were here with me every moment... Your presents will make everything so great.. I just wish you could be so much happier..

I mis you so much.. I still can't move on...

I feel like you didn't wanna speak with me anymore... You won't come online.. And when I did call and you do.. You would not reply all of a sudden and went offline when you did yesterday.. And the day before... What's wrong......

Just watched the impossible with you..

Very emotional I am.. Brings back a lot of memories while we were in Thailand..
Sigh.. It's a fun week being first time in Thailand.. Really miss those time we had...

The past crawls back at me again, the memories of us rushing through my head ... I've so much guilt inside me.. For I know I'm the person who changed you... But it's too late to have you back.... Too late to change everything....,

I would do anything to go back to 28th March 2011... When I first met you...

That was the happiest days of my life.....

Day by day I become more and more dreadful..

My colleague sent me a text today saying she just receive a email that she got selected for cabin crew...

I don't know why is she telling me.... Cause I'll definitely feel jealous.... I replied, oh... congrats...

Feel so useless now... I wish this year is a good year to start especially how painful last year was.. But first few days already have tons of rejections...... I still wishing I could get the cruise job...

Please... Just get me away from me...

Iain seems distance lately but I know he still would try to speak with me.. Sigh...
Feel like our connection is greatly fading... Really don't want that to happen.....

Pretty rejectful lately... Can't stop telling myself how everything just doesn't turn out good at all.....

Today I went to a cabin crew interview... They didn't bother to take my height they just say that I'm too short......

I also haven't heard from disney or any other cruise for sometime.....

I guess I won't be getting away anywhere anytime soon.....

Bound to stuck here with all the rejections and constant reminder of everyday that I will be alone and Iain is never gotta come back to me...I want to get away get a job that will take me away to start something fresh and exciting... Why is it as always has to be so torturous...I just wanna feel better bout myself for one......

.. Bitten by travel bug every single day.. Isn't making me feel any better either......
I just wanna forget about everything....