Day by day I become more and more dreadful..

My colleague sent me a text today saying she just receive a email that she got selected for cabin crew...

I don't know why is she telling me.... Cause I'll definitely feel jealous.... I replied, oh... congrats...

Feel so useless now... I wish this year is a good year to start especially how painful last year was.. But first few days already have tons of rejections...... I still wishing I could get the cruise job...

Please... Just get me away from me...

Iain seems distance lately but I know he still would try to speak with me.. Sigh...
Feel like our connection is greatly fading... Really don't want that to happen.....