i start to get really confuse with our relationship....

i really love you iain but sometimes i feel like your pushing me away..

i care alot about you...

today i didn't sleep well..as i waited whole night for you to come back home when your say you wont be out long and be back like 6.30pm-7pm (UK time)

i waited and waited... slowly the same episode comes back to me that you said you be back at a certain time but you never..

i called at 11pm (UK time) your dad answered said you aint home yet and that he also acknowledge from you that you be home by 6pm

i went to bed at 7am.. i didn't sleep well at all.. loads of nightmares and i wanna turning and turning till it gets to 11am (UK time)

i called once again with your mum picking up we chatted a bit and she told me to call few hours later..

i tried very hard to distract myself till 2pm (UK time) i called again and was told by your mum you actually only came home at 1030am

i was shock .. thinking what the hell did you do outside the whole night.. its already 24hours that ive not get in touch with you...

it's getting too much...

i feel my trust being crush all the time... i always try my best to trust you but you always fail to keep to your saying and that i always wait like an idiot...

im so confuse now...i feel that i've no respect nor appreciated..

i feel like you dont care if i'm waiting or worrying..

and i know if i start telling you all these you will say that i worry too much and that you wanna do what you like to do...

if so... do you ever treat me as your gf and think a single thought about me and how i'll feel??

i'm so tired and mad...so mad..

i love you but i dont know what to do!