so many things running though my head...

what did i did wrong again this time... i just barely wanted to have a properly chat with you but you got mad at me again... hanging up on me again..

I feel like I always living the edge that I will lose you everyday...

You said we've been talking for 5 hours but most of the hour is either your playing poker that is not connivence to talk or we're watching movie... we didn't even have proper time to chat with each other...

I miss you and I just want to maintain our relationship.. I dont want it to just die out because we don't talk... I hate skyping too cause it makes me feel so far away from you...

It's soo hard..........................

I've tried to do everything for you giving it to you.... not did i never have a sense of apprication but I'm always have to be mad at...

it almost felt that you dont love me anymore and that your bored of me.. just waiting for the day you can get rid me....

maybe today i just a little irritated cause skype is not working very well i can't hear you clearly neither can i see you on the cam clearly..... it makes me feel even worst all the time when I look into my facebook and that my friends are bragging about their relationship....... it makes me feel so sucky that your so far away....... i just can't wait to see you again... .yet i didn't know if i ever have the chance to see you......

i always fear that when you say you be gone for a bit but never come back... cause it always seems to happen that whenever you say doesn't happen....

this time i'm not sure if you ever gotta come back now that you say you be away for an hour or so...

you know that i hate it when you hang up or me or say that you'll ever leave me...

you been trying to break up with me all the time and i always have to please you and beg you not to leave me for just an argument which also you said that you will never do it.......

I really confuse....... i really dont know what to do......

it's been really hard for me......

why do i deserve this...... i just wish you could just treat me nice............and love me.......

i never gets angry with you............................is it so happen that it comes to a point that i'm already the victim of the relationship cause you're not afraid to leave me anymore and that I am.........

I always try my best for you do what I can for what you want... but you were never enough.......... I never even want any back in return anymore cause it doesn't seems to you....

I really doing my best........

I want to make you happy......

why do you always have to hang up on me..... or to leave on an bad tone.....

I never feel so helplesss in a relationship before..... cause i love you so much........... i just keep trying so hard....... just to make you happy.............

i just wish you would know how bad i feel........ i pray that you even could feel 1/3 of how i feel.....

trying so hard for the person you love but all you get is anger...silent... and the risk losing him.....

............. maybe i'm just a loser for life.......... i can never keep someone i love...... everyone i love is taken away from me........ only those who hate me..... or dont give a shit about me............

i just wish there will be happy times for us again........................... i really love you................

i dont wanna get hurt........................

god.........please help me...................................

let me love him and that he would love me back..............i dont want it just to falls apart like that..... I want to have the chance to live with someone I love....to have a long term relationship like I always wanted my whole life....not having to fear that they will leave me the next day..........I wanna see you so bad.... I wanna see you come back to singapore.....................

one nice thing you say to me today is......' don't be sad'

i feel really good to hear that... for once in a long while i felt that you care....just 3 words...

i bet its not hard at all.... but it totally makes me feel good................. :(

i hope i get to talk to you later.........................................

i really wish i can have a good relationship with you.....................................................................