It's still been so rough...

I realises everyday I'm forcing myself to act normal and not to think about it.. But everyday I just can't stop thinking about him thinking bout how his doing... I called yesterday and his mum said his busy.. I suppose he didn't wanna speak with me..It's almost close to a week now that he got mad at me and ask me to leave him alone.. I don't know will I ever speak to him again...
I'm still crying almost everyday missing him.. He just don't know how much he means to me and his not a person who is easily replaceable.
I just had a long weekend from work and it's been very unproductive... Just staying at home.. In the empty room... My auntie visited and she was told by my mum what happen.. She ask me out of my room but I was reluctant.. She told me I look soulless and I couldn't even speak up.. I always try not to talk about things having to do with our relationship cause it will upsets me all the time.. Even just looking at a white person in a train gives me a big heartache...

I'm glad he got what he want now...the life he wants and never have to go through any heartache or post relationship depression. I wish I was as cold and heartless like him... Sigh... I don't know how long it's gotta last but it's been very very lonely... I really can't move on without feeling upset or thinking about him...

Not sure if he will speak with me again or ever think about me... Don't think he be watching my blog anymore.. But
I truly miss him and I'm still longing for him...

I still love you a lot Iain... more than you ever know...